Did u guys know that there's this siao2 guy near my house? He's from Grace Orchard School, if i'm not wrong...

He has a unique problem, i infer... I suppose its such a unique case that he's probably the only guy in Singapore to suffer from it...

I call it the "I'mcrazyandgaybutiwannabeinjjc-itis"

Let me define "I'mcrazyandgaybutiwannabeinjjc-itis"

Firstly, the patient is said to suffer from extensive craziness. The symptoms include excessive singing and believing that one is a kid.

Secondly (and surprisingly), the patient displays homosexual tendencies towards his mentors. He/she appears to be absolutely infatuated with those whom he longs to be.

Lastly, the person wears a jjc uniform, even though he/she is not from jjc, or any jc for that matter.

The person living near my block suffers from "I'mcrazyandgaybutiwannabeinjjc-itis".

He's mad, delusional no doubt. Well, he's from a special school to prove it. He sometimes sings nursery rhymes and plays with toddlers in the playground. He's about my height too. Imagine someone my size running around in a playground chasing little kiddies. Charming thought.

Next, He is obsessed with me. Maybe not in the homo context but he's openly obsessed no doubt. One example. When i walk close to him and he notices me, he immediately calls out:

"Hey you!! No, the guy next to you!! No, that woman!!!"

Hmm... Wierd... with two capital 'V's... like, VVeird...

Lastly, he wears a jjc uniform. twenty-four-seven... At home maybe, but he wears it all the time when outside... Did i mention that he not only has one uniform, he has an ASSORTMENT of them!!! All the colours: black, blue, yellow, green. Even the red one, which went out of production years ago, when the school decided that four houses were easier to manage... He also has the full uniform to add to the set.

Haiz... the lengths people go...

One day i saw him at my house bus-stop, wearing the full uni, with tie-pin and all... When he saw me, he promtly whipped out a toy handphone, the kind kids use. Something like this:










Yes, like that... Serious...

Then he started talking into it. He was like:
"Okay. I'm in position. Awaiting arrival of public transport. Roger."

Then he glanced at me, making sure i was listening. Then he kept the phone and said with a raised voice:
"I'm on my way to JJC!! I wanna go and STUDY!!!"

And looked at me. Needless to say, my mom called jjc and informed them of a possible trespasser.

We had a little chat with jjc security the other day. The guard was aware of the kid. He said that he was a bit "odd". Actually, he sort of said:
"That one a bit screw loose lah. Ya, i know he a bit odd, but he never enter the school before, just prowl around the gates..."

Whew. He didn't have the guts no doubt...

I hope he's reading this, or if he even knows how to use a comp:

Here's some good advice. Firstly, slap yourself. Next. Slap yourself again. Then, if you are sure that you're free of "I'mcrazyandgayandiwannabeinjjc-itis", study hard, make it into a good sec sch, then join jjc. If you can't then you're still a victim of "I'mcrazyandgaybutiwannabeinjjc-itis".

Sorry,can't help you, kid. You're a moron of epic proportions.

sang my troubles away @ 12:14 AM